Also, I was an only child and Mother had over-protected me during my long convalescence from the fever. She accidentally introduced me into a life that was to cause me many hours of grief, loneliness and pleasure. The washer went on the fritz, and my pajamas were stiff with soap and wrinkled. She gave me one of her nighties to wear to bed. I had never felt anything so smooth and soft next to my skin and thrilled to the soft rustle of nylon whenever I moved. The next morning I asked her if I could sleep in her nightie every night.

I remember a funny look crossed her face and she asked me why. I told her that her nightie just felt so much smoother and nicer than my own cotton pajamas that I wanted to wear hers all the time. She said I couldn't sleep in hers—but that she would buy some for me. That night I slept in a pair of girl's pajamas and was almost as happy as with Mom's nightie.

Then one day I took a pair of her panties and wore them under my own clothes. She, of course, discovered this and we had a long talk about wearing feminine clothes. I remember I was not embarrassed and that I told her I just liked to wear soft underthings.

She reminded me that boys didn't do things like that. That made me angry and I blurted out that I couldn't do a lot of things that other boys did and wished I was a girl. Our discussion had flared into an argument that stopped dead when I said that. We didn't say much to each other the rest of the day; but after dinner, she asked if I really meant what I had said about being a girl.

I said 'yes' and told her that since I wasn't strong enough to participate in boys sports, they shunned and teased me and even the girls teased me about being a weakling and sometimes invited me to play girls games with them. I always refused because I thought they were teasing me about that, too. I pointed out to her that I was small boned, slightly built like a girl and might just as well be a girl. She had to agree that I wasn't very robust.

―

The next morning she brought one of her skirts and said I could wear it that day while doing my household chores. I put it on — after sneaking another pair of her panties to wear under it. I didn't look very girlish wearing a T-shirt, skirt and sneakers, but I felt like a girl and that was important to me.

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